Jeff Passan Tells Troll To Stop ‘Gooning’ And Learn Ball

Jeff Passan Tells Troll To Stop ‘Gooning’ And Learn Ball

Cardinals Lock In JJ Wetherholt With Nine‑Figure Deal

Massive Extension for a Rising Star

ESPN’s Jeff Passan reported that the St. Louis Cardinals have secured rookie JJ Wetherholt with a “nine‑figure contract” that will buy out several years of his future free agency. The 23‑year‑old has turned heads after just 87 big‑league games, posting a .267/.362/.411 slash line with 13 home runs and nine stolen bases. The Cardinals wanted to lock up a player who is already among the league’s elite second basemen.

Wetherholt’s defensive value is highlighted by an OAA of 16, second only to Kansas City shortstop Bobby Witt Jr., whose 17 marks the highest for a defender this season. Scouts had ranked him among the top five prospects entering the campaign, and his production reinforced that reputation. The deal signals a long‑term commitment to keep him in St. Louis well beyond his entry‑level contract.

Why the Social Media Spark Became Viral

When Passan broke the news, a Twitter user named Gooners Never Say Die fired back with a blunt question: “Bro I don’t even know what position he plays how about you include that.” The reporter’s retort—“stop gooning and learn ball”—exploded across platforms, drawing countless reposts and memes. The exchange showcased Passan’s willingness to engage sharp‑tongued critics, a trait that has become a regular part of his online persona. It also reminded fans that even seasoned insiders can be caught off‑guard by oversights.

Passan’s reputation for dunking on detractors adds entertainment to his reporting, but the stunt did not diminish his credibility. He was recently honored as Best Sports Media Insider of 2025 by Awful Announcing, a nod to his blend of humor and insight. The incident became a cultural moment that blended baseball news with internet culture, showing how quickly a quip can spread.

What This Means for the Cardinals

Securing Wetherholt with a nine‑figure pact ensures the Cardinals have a cornerstone second baseman for years to come. His current stats—13 homers and a .411 slugging percentage—already make him a productive force at the plate. By buying out multiple free‑agency years, St. Louis reduces future financial risk and can focus on surrounding him with talent.

The move also reflects a broader trend in baseball, where teams are grooming young stars early to avoid costly auctions. Wetherholt’s age (23) and his proven performance put him in a rare tier for a rookie. Fans can expect him to be a central piece of the Cardinals’ lineup for the foreseeable future, especially with his elite defensive metrics adding a two‑way impact.


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